THE RIVER

“Life is a river”.

I never fail to be amazed by the ideas that spring up in my head. Ideas about what I could do to create a suitable life for myself.

I'm not content with the scenario of a steady job for 40 hours a week, with a reasonable income that allows me to get a mortgage, a new car, holidays in the sun, the latest gadgets, new clothes, a haircut, a new settee, Friday nights with the lads, Sunday sport-sessions, a savings-account, full-coverage insurance and a pension.

For me this is like living in a fishbowl.

I want to swim in a river.

I use different metaphors to view life by. One metaphor is that “life is a game”- no rules, play your own way, have fun. Another is that “life is a journey”- a personal adventure, you take any path you want, there is no destination, the journey is the goal.

In a third metaphor “life is a river”. Life is on the move, constantly, it has currents and tempo and it heads in one ultimate direction... onwards.

How you ride that river is up to you. Stay in it and it carries you along on its own journey. You can't change its course, but even the river itself doesn't choose its own course – it is subject to the influences of the surrounding landscape, just as life is influenced by the landscapes of civilization, the environment, technology, the stockmarket, public opinion, politics and economics...

The river is unpredictable in its course, and this makes it understandably interesting – “go with the flow”. But there are other rivers, many rivers, and we don't have to stay in only one. We're not fish!

I've followed different rivers. When I've felt that they're not taking me where I want to go, I step out and dive into another one. Every time I do this I think: “this is it – this is THE river...MY river”.

Many times I've found myself stepping into rivers that I've been in before. Then I feel like I've been going round in circles. But I've learned to realize that I am, at least, farther downstream – it's the same river, but it's not the same place. Like the river, I've been moving in one unchangeable direction too... onwards.

I have many interests and a number of creative talents, but I've never been able to stick with one interest, one talent and build it with passion long enough for it to become the defining activity of my life – or the source of a decent income.

An idea grabs me with its potential, shows me a route to my dreams, and I indulge myself in it with a full heart – until the next idea. And there's always a “next idea”. As with the river, I think: “this is it, this is THE idea”. I've learned finally to view this with healthy scepticism. I believe now that no ONE idea is THE idea, no ONE river is THE river. And I realize that where I'm heading is a location where all these rivers are converging.

A few years ago I was into blogging about existential stuff like “personal development” and “conscious living”. At the time that was THE river. For a little while I tasted the waters of “cartooning”. Six months ago it was a river called “physical development and body-transformation”- a totally new experience and direction, fresh waters indeed.

Recently I became an entrepreneur and set up my own digital-publishing site. Now I write and illustrate my own children's picturebooks as videofilms.

THE river? No, just another idea, but I'm getting close.

Now, I've discovered the MEZRAB in Amsterdam... and “storytelling”.

THIS river sparkles and dances, bubbles and sings. Its water is chrystal, cool, fresh and invigorating. It's travelled across ages and nations, streamed through traditions and cultures. It's as bright as the day it sprung from its source and is rich with colour and life in the diversity of the creatures that swim in it.

I am mesmerized. Here, truly, is my river...THE river. Here flow the waters of my writing river, my drawing river, my songwriting river, my performance river, my travel river, my physical river, my social river, my philosophy river, my adventure river, my dreams river. All the rivers of my past, present and future stream here together.

Dazzled, I start this blog. I pick up my guitar and shake the dust off. I write a new song. I breathe life into all my old ones. These are stories that I finally feel ready to tell and share.

Today I am a writer, a poet and a minstrel. Today I dive into this cool, blue wandering river. Today I am in my element.

Today I cast aside my clothes of scepticism. Life is a river – and I want to swim in this one.