Spoken Word Poems

I've made a new page called POEMS. This is going to list all the writings I do that fall under the category "Poem" to distinguish them from stories. I've been so inspired lately by "Performance Poetry/Spoken Word Poetry" that I know it's going to be a major part of my writing activities from now on.

And I've written and performed my first poem already - "I Wrote A Song", which I did last Friday evening at the Mezrab. As I get more adept at this I'll be able to discuss the process of writing them, but as everything else on this blog, it's still a process in development - as is this blog itself and this whole project.

I got a message from my brother Gary, whose following my blog, in which he suggests I add some videos of my songs so people can hear them as well as read the lyrics - this too is in development. But most of all... "I am in development myself" - this is a whole new lifestyle for me. I've been so programmed the last 15 years to get up and go to work, that I now have to "deal" with having all the time in the world for myself and the things I like to do. And my head and heart are still in a sort of "pleasant shock"... suddenly, with all this time on my hands, I realize just how much there is that I want to do, and it feels somewhat overwhelming. I need to get down from this cloud and into some new routine, organize myself - but I want to do this naturally because what is the point in creating new deadlines and pressures for myself, expecting myself to be measurably productive every day?

Yesterday, for example, it was such beautiful weather, that I couldn't stay inside to do the things I'd planned - I had to get out. So I went for a walk in the forest. And in walking, and later during a jogging session with Geert, I mulled over other important concepts - this too is productive in an abstract way, and this too is part of the development I'm going through. A long walk brings thoughts into clarity that I can write later as a poem, or a story, or a song.

Life is good for me at this moment - I'm still on the cloud enjoying the wonder of it all... I don't want to feel guilty for that.

I Wrote A Song

I wrote a song – the Mezrab song

It’s quite long

But when my tongue and mind were synchronized

And I had the whole thing memorized

I aspired to sing that song

one summers eve at the tolhuistuin

And I was ready – so I thought

But I was wrong…

And to cut a long story short

I realized just how scared I am about singing in front of an audience and that’s the main reason I never did much with all the songs I’ve written over the years which is quite a few, and why I didn’t grasp at opportunities and missed some chances I regretted later but don’t anymore but still I could have been much more… 

Is it the things we do in life that define who we are

Or is it the things we don’t do, that define who we are not

Are YOU doing what you want to do?

Good for you – if you are

If not – why not?

What is it that stops us doing that which we want to do

These are important questions to ask yourself if you want to know who you really are

If you want to be more than you are

More than who you seem to be

To you – to me – to we

If you believe you could be more – should be more

If you know your potential is greater than your reality

Your latent potential – your patent reality

Hiding the real you

Disguising the bigger you

What great things could you do – or be – if you were free

To be who you want to be…

Be honest with yourself

Like me – I’ve searched my soul for my answers

I’ve seen my potential

I’ve scurried through the ominous shadows of my fears

I know who I am – and who I’m not…..yet

Because you can bet – I’ve got big plans for myself…

SHE – a friend – “calls me dreamer still”

and she believes that,

And she’s not the only one.

But I can ignore those labels now

I know me better than she

And I’d rather be a dreamer than… well…

“I’d rather be head in the clouds than be sinking”

to quote one of my own songs – and I’m thinking

I do that a lot these days…

And I’m not the only one.

So who AM I – and who am I not?

I changed my facebook profile recently

It didn’t fit my new identity

Or my present activities

And if it’s the things you do that define who you are then I’m

A songwriter – I write songs – sometimes, I sing them.

I’m not a rockstar – too old to start on that road

I’m a storyteller

I’m a poet – don’t you know it 

And this is a poem, and a story, and could be a…  long… song…

And all this makes me a writer too

And this is who I am -  on facebook at least.

But I’m not yet a performer, you see 

I suffer from “stage anxiety”

and I'm not the only one.

But that’s a problem as you can imagine

I still need to learn to connect with an audience

I mean…

This is my priority – this is my dream

This is the mountain I’ve still got to climb

The dragon I’ve still got to slay

And it’s going to take time

But one day…

And if you think I’m doing okay now, up here, and maybe this is enough

Well don’t be fooled, this is all just bluff

And inside I’m a shaking, shuddering sweating wreck of nerves

But I promised myself

Tonight… tonight… I will not put it off til tomorrow

Or next week or next month… not again…

I’ve already put it off too long

Tonight…

I WILL sing the Mezrab song.

SPOKEN WORD POETRY

I thought I'd found it all with storytelling and songwriting, but there's a new dimension and activity to add to my creative journey - "Spoken Word Poetry" - or "Performance Poetry".

You can easily see how I'm a late developer - these things have been around for a long time but I'm only just discovering them - it's like I just beamed down from another planet, or walked down from the mountain where I've been holed up for the last 20 years, or that I've just woken from a coma...

I don't mind - I'm discovering these things now and they're filling me with such joy as only a kid knows with the endless discovery of the wonder of the world around him.

Spoken-word-poetry is like a cross between stories and songs, between telling and singing - it's dynamic, theatrical, emotional.... and still, surprisingly (or not) very popular as an oral tradition, far more present in these modern times than storytelling. I've already found some favorites: RIVES; TAYLOR MALI; SARAH KAY; PAPERGIRL...and all these on Sarah Kay's "PLAYLIST" but there are thousands still to discover, and there is me to discover myself as a poet, and maybe that's the most important thing.

I feel I've been given a gift - a gift of voice. If you want to solve the world's problems - get everybody telling stories and writing and performing poetry - give everyone their VOICE. If you want to inspire children to believe in the beauty of life and learning - stop trying to teach them, stop trying to fool them that it's all about grades and exams and competition and certificates and being the best and knowing this and that so you can prove that you've learned it so you can get a good job and a house and a car and maybe a pension if you work hard enough long enough without dying first, without ever tasting the real essence of life..give them their voice by inspiring them to tell stories and write and tell poetry.

If you want to live in a world where everyone knows and understands and respects everyone else - give everyone the experience of finding their voice and sharing it with the rest of us. We talk but don't talk... we hear but don't listen... we look but don't see...  

It's been around for ever, but I have a feeling that "spoken word poetry" and "storytelling" could be the new revolution.

THE 4 a.m. MYSTERY

  RIVES: The 4 a.m. mystery - TED VIDEO

  A discovery - a new idol. You "gotta" see this.

A Band Is Forming

My album project consists of me and my friend Geert - I write the songs, Geert does all the complicated recording technique, and we both play the music. We've got guitar, voice and bass as basics, but that's it. I plan to keep the whole album pretty basic too - it's about the songs, not about the production (meaning over-production) and I've been inspired by the more basic recordings on Nick Drake's albums.

But some songs are already screaming for extras: guitar parts that are more intricate than either of us can play; percussion parts; and strings (especially cello). So it's time to get some more people involved.

Starting with another friend - Marnix. He is percussionist, and we had him over yesterday evening for a session in the studio. Great! He's into it and raring to go. An extra advantage of this is that he also plays some bass and sings - and with my idea of holding a "launch concert" when the album is ready, he'll be important to take over the bass when Geert is playing extra guitar parts, and joining in the vocal-harmonies.

I've also got my son Kyrian interested in putting down some piano tracks - he plays intricate jazz improvisations so that'll add some real color to the album. And he'll be good too for the extra guitar parts because he's better at that than me or Geert too. What's really interesting is that Kyrian has never heard my songs - he's never seen this side of his father (except when he was younger - but he doesn't remember).

I've got 5 songs completed and 13 to go (yes that many!). But the main songwriting part is done - the "inspirational" part. I've got all the musical ideas on video, and the "concept" of the album is decided, and all the ideas have already been designated a "theme/subject". So I only have to write the lyrics. This is not as difficult as it may seem - it's no different from writing an article (except making rhyme). Just a matter of sitting down with information and organizing it into verse - it's a "craft", and I'm not bad at it. And I have to say... writing songs gives me just about the most enjoyment I've ever had creatively.

                                                 ------------------------

I've heard a lot of demoralizing advice when it comes to "doing things yourself". Many would think if I want to make a professional album I should go to a professional studio. I don't agree with this - especially when it comes to this project. I'm sure a professional studio with expert and experienced producers and engineers would create a really nice album of my songs (and charge me a really nice big bill for their services), but what is the advantage of that? Really?

I want an album that gives listeners the effect that I'm singing personally for them - and that "I'm" singing and playing, and not a full studio of session musicians. It's not about how "exquisite" the production is but how authentic the songs are, and the performance. And it's not just about the album either... it's about the experience of "making" it... ourselves!
It's a journey of creative discovery - why would I want to put it in the hands of someone else who's already made the journey?

Following the same line of thinking - when I go travelling, that won't be just about "gigging" and "selling albums". That'll be as much (if not more) about connecting with people and sharing stories - the album and songs will just be a vehicle by which to do this. That's why I'm not planning on touring in the traditional sense - around the songwriter/band circuit - but on finding the storytelling venues and gatherings and mixing song and story as a troubadour.

It's also not about being rich and famous as a popstar either - just so you know... I'll leave that dream aside for all the young ones.

THE MOTH - True Stories Told Live

The Moth is a New York City based nonprofit organization that conducts live storytelling events.


An article I read over this U.S. storytelling venue is what got me first interested and looking for a similar venue in Amsterdam which led me to The Mezrab and turned my world upside down and changed my life and got me songwriting again and eventually..... so on and so forth..... got me where I am now.

I keep an eye on The Moth - get updates for new videos (the events I can't get to on the bike), and I think I've viewed most of their Tube videos. I have mixed feelings. The storytellers give me an idea of the general standard, so I think if I can do what these guys 'n gals are doing I'm not doing too bad. But these speakers are often professional tv writers or authors or even comedians - so where are the "normal" people I ask myself.

Anyway - that's America, this is here, and the Mezrab is full of 'normal' people telling their stories. But I just wanted to give you an example of one "speaker" from The Moth so you get an idea for yourself - one of the stories I enjoyed the most because the guy doesn't come over as a great speaker, but warms to you as you get into his story:

I haven't found a storytelling-video from The Mezrab - yet. Maybe that's something that still needs to be done.

Once Upon A Time On A Greek Island...

Take one dancing fool who sings a bit and plays some strange wind instruments and a failed pantomime villain on accoustic guitar and you get some acoustic cabaret punked up pop - whatever that is.

Once upon a time on a Greek island I bumped into Nigel - a chef with rockstar ambitions. We became close friends and my songwriting efforts of the time (which were, at that time, more effort than song) inspired him to ditch his kitchens for a life on the stage.
Over the years, along with occasional joint songwriting episodes, Nigel honed his own songwriting and performing skills and gathered a rich and varied musical repertoire in a style that can only be described as "Nigelish"!

Now, 30 years on, he's still performing regularly in bars and at festivals across the UK as one half of a distinctly unique duo called "The Big Fibbers". He's also a politician... of sorts!

I envied his ambition and determination - he's clocked up 30 years of experience, while I've stayed a reclusive songwriter. He has therefore been as much an inspiration to me as I was to him way back when. So now, at this turning point in my life, as I'm set to follow his example, I want to make this dedication to a man who made his own dream come true without any regard for the opinions of others. This is what he wanted and he went out and just did it... his way!


The Big Fibbers - a dangerously different duo from a dark kettle of fish. They write songs about booze, madness, the ghosts of love, aliens, fish and even more booze.

Visit the website: http://www.bigfibbers.co.uk/
And enjoy a taste of something, well, completely different...

ROCK ON NIGEL