UPDATE NOVEMBER

I've let things lie a bit too long. My head is so full of things I need to do, want to do and plan to do when I finally get to travel, that I find myself getting overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. Well, not exactly nothing - the songs are still getting written and this is the most important thing I have to do since the songs, and the album, are the basis of this whole project.
So, to catch up, this is an update on... everything. Just to clear my head and find some order. You'd think I wouldn't have any problems seeing as I've got all my time for myself, but having the freedom to do your own thing each and every day brings its own problems - self-motivation being the key word here. I can be so lazy sometimes, other times so inspired and creative - maybe I shouldn't worry, but just ride the wave of my creative energy... let it all happen in its own time...

SONGS
I've written 12 songs of the 18 I had planned. I can get the last 6 done over the next week or so. I've been playing them often - that's productive work too. But I'm eager to get into the real work in the studio. Spent an evening with my partner Geert last friday - we played through the songs using different instruments: flute, mandolin, two acoustic guitars in harmony, harmonica... it's given us some ideas for the production and mixing. With influences ranging from Nick Drake to Eddie Vedder via Steven Stills, I'm confident this is going to be as good an album as you can make in an attic studio. It's great for me to leave the technique in Geert's hands - I do not want to get into that side of things at this stage. And believe me, writing the songs requires a lot more input than you would expect. I'm not writing cheesy love songs or laments of heartbreak or "clap your hands and dance" ditties... this album is a somewhat historical document - I have to do a lot of research about the subject I'm writing about. And THEN I have to condense that information into rhyming sonnets. Having a catchy tune is only part of the process - this is literature man! This is poetry!

STORYTELLING
I finally got the courage up to get out in front of the crowd at the Mezrab. I'd done my Mezrab song and an introductory poem a few weeks ago - and I was nervous as hell. This time I made it a little easier for myself. Took Geert and his wife along for moral support, and a camera to record my performance. After a few regular storytellers had done their pieces I got up there on the "Orator's chair". I had a story worked out as an introduction, but I changed my mind about doing it at the last minute - instead I just improvised my intro to tell people about my project and the two songs I wanted to sing. It was a strange experience - one part of my brain is consciously communicating with the audience, and another part is consciously observing myself in this situation, and talking to me like a miniature angel on my shoulder - "He Mike, this is going okay - you're connecting - they're laughing and cheering - this is not so hard or scary after all..."
It worked - I looked at the video later and I can say I didn't do too bad. But the most important thing is that I've finally broken through my main obstacle - I enjoyed it and I know I can do this now, and I never have to fear it again... and it was a kick!
The video is rubbish though - the light was low and my camera didn't record it well so I'm NOT going to post it here. When I've got the technique sorted, and I think I've got it sorted now, then I'll start filming all my "performance" experiences. There are some evenings I want to get to in December... and I'm fired up now and can't wait for my next chance to sing and tell a "real" story.

PROJECT
I've been re-defining what my goal is with this project - apart from the obvious one of being free to write songs and travel. And it's about sharing the experience of storytelling and helping others to see what telling stories can do for them, for their self-confidence, their understanding, their relationships with the people around them. I want to get people as enthusiastic about this as I feel... get them writing, and opening up, and telling, and writing poems and songs, and singing and celebrating the wonder of being human and living life...
And I hope to inspire people through MY story, THIS story: me, quitting my job to follow my dream travelling and meeting people everywhere. When I told people about this at the Mezrab I was greeted with loud cheers and whistles and applause... obviously it makes an impression on people - maybe it lies at the root of everyone's dreams.
So, with this clearly defined "purpose" I can stop thinking that I have to do this to sell lots of albums so I can make enough money to carry on doing this - which is the conditioned mindset that smothers me from time to time - but instead look forward in anticipation to a journey of discovery that is sure to bring a lot of surprises.

WRITING
I bought myself a new laptop - a notebook. It took so long for the old laptop to function that I never wanted to start the thing up. But this is a good laptop so I can get online quickly, onto my blog and get stuck into writing. But I don't write every day, which surprises me because I always thought that I would. I still write every day in my personal journal - with a pen on paper, and when I'm typing at the computer I enjoy the process...but sometimes I think my days are not eventful enough yet to share. When I'm travelling I expect to have lots to tell - but here, now, in Amsterdam where I spend most of my days at home... well that's not so exciting is it? But yesterday I wrote a short piece for Hubpages (an online writing community that I was active on a few years ago)... and that fired me up again. So I hope I can get back into regular posting, and step up this project into the next gear. The songs are nearly finished, we'll be starting the recording soon, my preparations for the journey are moving along, I'm getting a buzz back, personal obstacles have been conquered... and Christmas is on the doorstep. I'm surfing the crest of a high wave at this moment, and I don't want to lose this momentum.

OTHER THINGS
I'm getting my first smartphone soon - a friend has an old Samsung he can sell me cheaply. This should give me more options for video and photo documenting on my travels. An ex-colleague from the school is still wanting to sell his camper - I think it would be a good solution for me, but I need to get it sorted soon. I've been tentatively researching the "storytelling" scene in Europe... might be a good idea to base my travel route around these venue locations... at least to start off with. And I've actually started to get my house in order - in preparation for leaving it all behind!

And that's it for this post. I think it's time I tried my hand now at videoblogging... hmmmmm!

Song For The Protest Singer

SONG FOR THE PROTEST SINGER

For the faithful stand you displayed – and the glory songs you played

This one's for you

With my salute and respect – to your pen's skilled effect

For it wrote so true

In a time of troubles and wrongs – you gave your voice to the young

And the common man

Where many more never dared – you sang aloud to be heard

Or be damned

…..

With guitar on your shoulder – you stood wild as a soldier

Of the stage

And the truths you did shout – were like bullets ringing out

From your page

And your ballads and poems, written proud – were the anthems of a crowd

That had suffered too long

And the sonnets you sang were the creed – of an army you would lead

With your battle song

…..

With your choruses and chords – as bard and troubadour

You bared your soul

With your stories full of pain – of disillusion and shame

For the rights they stole

But the fears dissipated – and hopes were celebrated

In your rhyme

And your music gave them chance – for freedom and dance

In a changing time

…..

Ousting tyranny and fraud – Wielding pen as a sword

To the throats of those lords and presidents of propagation

You tore the cloaks from their lies – You filled their ears and their eyes

With the echoes of our cries – Stirred the conscience of a nation

You were our teeth and our tongues – Sharp as daggers in your songs

You were the voice that sang along – For a whole angry generation

…..

The truth be told, it is so – we've still a long way to go

And we're not there yet

But our souls won't be sold – and your songs won't get old

And we won't forget...

Utopian Dreams

Utopian Dreams

I’m going down to the land and the fields

Get myself back to the earth

Bathe my soul in the free flowing rivers

Open my heart for rebirth

I’m going to live with the beautiful people

The sons and the daughters of Eve

Lend my hands to the gardens of Gaia

A crown of bright flowers for to weave

I’ll burn the ways of an angry world behind me

Rise through the ashes of their fear

Join as one with my brothers and sisters

Create a new brave world for us here

From the soils that our fingers are turning

Sowing the seeds of our tree

Under the leaves of our love and our learning

Our children will grow to be free

I’m going down to the fields of our Mother

Back to the source of the stream

There I’ll dance and I’ll sing in her meadows

A song of Utopian dreams

Times Of Change

Times of Change

Daybreak pines, but your love it smiles

For your soul lies true in your heart

Blaze the old guard fires, but you know you’re alive

And your banners are heeled for the start

The day will long hours bring, but your heart shall sing

Oh pray now, be the brave now

C’mon and sing our song against the social wrong

Hail these… times of change

Make some noise, for a silenced voice

For the weak who long for their word

For the ones who cry, beaten down by lies

For the ones without rights to be heard

The fight will long time toil, but our bloods they boil

Heed the call now, heads will roll now

C’mon and break these chains, steer the drivers reins

Hear me, times are changing

Worlds go round, but the trumpets sound

For ears that are tuned to the times

For an equal chance, for all who dance

With freedom scratched on the signs

With a new respect for the long oppressed

For us all now, lest we fall now

C’mon and take this stride, for a changing tide

Hail these… times of change, times are changing…

Sadder Sun

SADDER SUN

It's all so clearly getting out of hand

It only takes a finger, to heed a fool's command

Be the biggest, be the first, the best

And sow the fears to put it to the test

In the heaven's blue our star it shines

But there's a sadder sun poised to burn the sky

Breaking atoms is the truth they said

But playing god they raised the devil up instead

---

Eye for eye and tooth for tooth is wrong

When it means we kill the earth we stand upon

And as we celebrate succes we fail

When there is no-one left to tell no-one the tale

We saw the horror and the cries we heard

Pacific islands lie as scars upon the earth

Skin as paper peels among the screams

A nightmare for us all to haunt us in our dreams

---

And all are waiting for the horns to sound

Cellar doors ajar, safety underground

A guide will tell you how you can survive

Maybe you'll be among the too few left alive

But will your children ever get the chance

To see their own children laugh and sing and dance

And how to tell them when the sirens start

A silent kiss away – how did we come so far?

Once More To The Garden

ONCE MORE TO THE GARDEN

There's an old ghost

In a grey suit

On a green road

Where the time flew

Where the words hide

And the dreams fade

And the cause died

As the world frayed

It was then

It was when

There the tide was love

And the clouds were doves

And the fields were home

Where your hopes were grown

And your stride was sung

In a voice so young

And your wars were won

In the rain and sun

There you saw them

In the garden

And the wheel still turns

But the light still burns

And the wind blows

Falls and grows

In your muse

Dove coes

March You Did

MARCH YOU DID

March you did, for your right to refuse

To die in a war they were losing

But to fight the injustices on your home soil

That was a war of your choosing

The Children’s Crusade filled up the jails

The students and women came out fighting

Jim Crow and the Gays and The Vets led the trails

Marched along for the wrongs they were righting

March with your cries to the Lords of Democracy

Force them to open their doors

Turn the world’s eyes to their shame and hypocrisy

Force them to rewrite their laws

Stand you did, when the Civil Guard stormed

Sticks against Billyclubs bashing

Fall you did, when the Bull raised his horns

And set the dogs free with teeth gnashing

Run you did, when the rifles were drawn

There now were the rights they were reading

Cry you did, when shots killed the dawn

And the streets were aligned with the bleeding

March with your cries to the Lords of Democracy

Force them to open their doors

Turn the world’s eyes to their shame and hypocrisy

Force them to rewrite their laws

March your demands in the face of authorities

Storm their troops with your banners and words

Rally for your war against civil atrocities

Get yourself heard

Mourn you did, the ones who were killed

Then as one with the bullied and beaten

You marched to defy those who’d have you be stilled

With a heart that would truly defeat them

And cheer you did, for the words of the brave

The speeches and voices that led you

And shout you did, for a world you would save

With the slogans that fired and fed you

March with your cries to the Lords of Democracy

Force them to open their doors

Turn the world’s eyes to their shame and hypocrisy

Force them to rewrite their laws

March your demands in the face of authorities

Storm their troops with your banners and words

Rally for your war against civil atrocities

Get yourself heard

Like A Long Time Ago

Like A Long Time Ago

Remember those days of the freaks and the squares

hearts in the clouds and flowers in your hair

testing ideals that were raised in the dorms

questioning rights of the established norms

challenging all who refused to believe

there was any way other than those of authority

which cloaked all the truth and fed you on lies

and ask you be silent and cover your eyes

and when you rose up they would not understand

and when you dropped out they would lift up their hands

and scold you for throwing your chances away

like mud in their faces – now those were the days

Remember the ideals the dreams and the goals

away with those antiquated values and roles

away with the arms race – stop all the wars

the only thing worth fighting for was the cause

your right to freedom – free to be free

your right to undisputed equality

for women and gays, black man or white

freedom to demand your true civil rights

to practise your love and peace – expand your mind

alter your consiousness, yourself to find

respect for the earth and all of the garden

to listen to Gaia and beg for her pardon

Remember the heroes, the ones who spoke out

the ones who dared stand up, the ones who dared shout

remember the fallen killed by our own

as well as those tragic souls far from their homes

remember the battlegrounds of Birmingham and Chicago

Jackson state, Madison, Kent state Ohio

the cries and the blood flowed over to europe

and from London to Prague the young they all stood up

And remember san francisco, the gathering of tribes, 

the summer of love, the vision and the vibes

the human be-ins, the robes and the beads, 

and the music and dancing that coloured the streets

and remember the weekend that captured it all  

 and the 500 000 who answered the call

And took to the road to join woodstock nation  

 and bathe Yasgurs fields in peace and celebration

and remember the poets the minstrels and bards, 

who wrote for your souls and sang for your hearts

and gave you the music that could never lie, 

and carried your legacy through years gone by

Through a world rearranging –

 for the times were a changing...

Far as it seems now

What does it mean now 

Where are the dreams now

It's like a long time ago, like a long time ago – like a long time...

It´s Easy

IT’S EASY

It’s easy just to play the game - to pass the buck in times of change

There’s always someone else to blame - it’s easy, it’s easy

Defend your morals handed down - your right to fear, your right to frown

To serve the flag and save the crown - it’s easy standing common ground, it’s easy

As day is day and dark is night - it’s easy knowing wrong from right

So long no-one turns on the light - it’s easy, it’s easy

So long you’re not put to the test - the devil that you know is best

It’s one for one, forget the rest - it’s easy, it’s easy

Wear your blinds, pull down the hood - See private gain as common good

And tell each other how you should - it’s easy, it’s easy

Patch up the holes and sew the seams - and fence off all your hopes and dreams

Turn the truths and call them lies - it’s easy just to close your eyes, it’s easy

It’s not that hard to open out - to question what it’s all about

To speak your heart and let it shout - it’s easy, it’s easy

To stretch your arm with open hand - to make a different kind of stand

A different march, a different band - it’s easy when you understand, it’s easy

To learn to see beyond the wall - to love yourself, to love them all

While dancing to dove’s bugle call - it’s easy, it’s easy

It’s not so hard to save our race - arm in arm and face to face

No place like here, no time like now - it’s easy when you just know how, it’s easy

Like I Was Coming Home

Like I Was Coming Home

I sit before my tv screen and watch your world go by

I see you dance and hear you sing and feel you on your high

I wasn't there to walk with you for I was just too young

But I can dream along – I can dream along

I bathe me in nostalgia's tones for years that were not mine

I share your pains all filled with hope and clothe them in these times

Where stone hearts preach to fearful and blame you for making waves

But that's how man behaves – that's how man repays

Though I know my pretty picture is but half the tale

It guides me still to dragons slain and my own holy grail

And was I younger maybe I would even grow my hair

And flowers I would wear – and would not give a care

But maybe it's you now who rule, by power and money bought

Who raise the flag and wear the suit and smile the face you fought

And if that's so, I grieve for you and hope freedom you'll find

From your disillusioned mind – from your disillusioned mind

Give me your dreams of peace and love, they soothe these confused days

They give me words and voice when I feel lost upon my way

In brother's melodies they call and warm me to my bones

Like I was coming home, like I was coming home, like I was coming home

I sit before my tv screen and watch your world go by

I see you dance and hear you sing and feel you on your high

I wasn't there to walk with you for I was just too young

But I can dream along – I can dream along

But I can dream along – I can dream along

But I can dream along.

Studio Session 1

Finally, finally... some video.

It's still early days - I've got 7 songs written for the album but they're still in their basic form. Marnix has joined me and Geert for the percussion and this video is from our first session playing together. But this song isn't for the album.

This session is from 30th October - we ran through the 7 new songs and then finished with some old ones from....years... ago. So it's really a jam session. It was also a test to see what quality the video camera would give me. Now I'm happy about the visual and audio - but I have to do something about the lighting, and the position so you're not just looking at the back of Marnix's head. It's a cramped room, but maybe it just needs a little tidying.

I had problems with getting this edited too - my camera makes video files with a complicated extension which doesn't play on my laptop - so I had to find a converter that worked, and then learn how to use the "new" version of windowsmoviemaker... it's taken me three days to get this up, finally.

I'll be videoing every session from now on so there will be lots more videos coming up regularly - and I plan to video any story sessions I do too.

So this song... to start this series off, is originally from 30 years ago. I wrote it on the Greek island of Naxos. But the lyrics really only worked on Naxos, so I rewrote them 15 years ago with a different and more general theme. One day I'll get round to making an album of all my "older" songs, but for now they can live again here on video, live and acoustic. This one's called "BREAK MY HEAD". Lyrics here...

SongLyrics - Break My Head

BREAK MY HEAD

My input really makes no sense

My presence mostly makes you tense

My best is never good enough for you

All the truths bent into lies

I can't be good, I can't be wise

I break my head tryin' to get through to you

If I could only find a word that's right

Find the spark to set your heart alight

Turn your head around enough to notice me

There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you

Well I could even write a song for you

I might even make you fall in love with me

I wonder why I waste my time

Like turning water into wine

I must be dumb to take what I go through

The ways that you can put me down

If I couldn't swim I'd surely drown

I break my head tryin' to get through to you

If I could only find a word that's right

Find the spark to set your heart alight

Turn your head around enough to notice me

There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you

Well I could even write a song for you

I might even make you fall in love with me

Feed the dog that bites my hand

I'm not even sure I understand

I break my head

Tryin' to get through

Tryin' to get through

Tryin' to get through

Get through to you...