What Do You Want To Be - when you grow up?

When I was little, the big question was: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Every kid gets this, as if what they say has any bearing on the path they'll take in the future. Most people don't end up being what they wanted to be.


I drew a lot: "Oh your going to be an artist for sure!"
I made things - toys and games - "Oh you'll be an inventor definitely!"


I wanted to be a policeman... or an Indian, riding the wild plains on horseback, living with nature in the wilderness... Never wanted to be a cowboy.


In my teens I discovered photography - wanted to be a photographer. When I told my career's officer he said "I don't have any information on that - do you want to be anything else?" My career's advice lasted 2 minutes. Good school!!! But there was no info, no advice, no-one knew what a photographer did - had to find it all out myself, without internet.


I went to college - commercial photography course - I flunked on theory - wasn't my thing. Never did become a real photographer, but it was my passion most of my life.


As was music. At 22 I joined a band - wanted to be a rockstar. But I didn't have the commitment, nor the ego, nor the x-factor.


At 24 I lived on a Greek island for three months, writing and singing songs... I was a songwriter. The following year I did the same, this time I took my sax along, played in a piano bar... I was a jazz musician.


Ten years ago I rediscovered drawing - making pictures for stories I told to my son. He was 9 years old back then. I gave up photography completely, I wanted to be a children's book illustrator. At the time I was a concierge, I never wanted to be a concierge.


In the last five years I discovered the internet, internet marketing, affiliate marketing, professional blogging. Now that's something! I could be a writer... I always wanted to be a writer.


So I started my first blog and became an unpaid writer. I didn't become a successful affiliate marketer, but I did become a children's book illustrator - a "professional" nota bene.


Begin 2012, I gave up my concierge job, bought a six-week program to get back in shape, got back in shape, built a website about it and set myself up as a "personal motivator" for people who want to transform their bodies. Unfortunately this didn't transform into money so I decided to go for what works and I became an entrepreneur and digital publisher of my own children's picture books. I thought that's what I wanted to be. I thought I'd found my calling - I should have known better.


About a month ago I discovered the Mezrab and storytelling. It captured my heart completely. And through this I realize that it's not about what you want to be, but what you want to do.


I've done a lot of things I wanted to do - and I've done a lot of things I never wanted to do. But the question now is: what do I WANT to do NOW?
And it's not "illustrating children's books" - though I do want to draw;
And it's not "internet marketing" - though I do want to write and blog;
And it's not "be a rockstar" - though I do want to sing.


If I wanted to BE anything now,I'd be a storyteller, a minstrel, a writer of songs that tell stories.


And I will be that, because that's what I want to do.
This blog sets the stage. I've written a new song, the first in ten years: The Mezrab Song.
I feel inspired, I feel joyous.